Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize