i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
