Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize