Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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