Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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