my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
