Ambien. No doubt about it.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
