don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
