He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
