i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
