I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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