Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
