Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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