the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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