Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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