We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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