I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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