he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
