East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She's the barista slut.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Please don't give away my fajitas
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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