No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
