dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Terrible idea I love it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
