We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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