Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
