Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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