woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
