That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
