do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
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