the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
