erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
