Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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