he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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