so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
