I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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