No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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