If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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