Porn is love you can see.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize