I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
