I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize