Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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