Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
