My first STD was from a foam party
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
