i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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