wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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