Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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