her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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