i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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