Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dick very happy bro
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
