i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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