Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
