we're chasing vodka with high fives
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I did not marry a roomba.
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