accomplished twins. life is a go
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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