Pants 0. Shit 1.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
