Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
not ubering you a puppy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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