She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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