Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
