I must be too annoying 4 u.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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