On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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