I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
