a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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