You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
